I don’t know about you, but the last few weeks (make that months) have been feeling… out of control. The way I’m eating, thinking, acting. I’m out of sync with myself and the woman I want to be.

I’m drinking more than normal. I’m plagued by feelings of apathy and self hate. I find it hard to stay motivated and my spending is at an all time high. And when you don’t feel in control of yourself well, everything else is on a sharp trajectory to follow.

I had an epiphany yesterday. It was during a typical Sunday mid-afternoon depression where I felt restless, angry, and just blah. I was eating a Reese’s because I couldn’t be bothered to find something healthy and on a second glass of wine, hoping to create a haze that would distract me from the self loathing that was welling up.

There came a moment when I wanted to rip my skin off. I just hated everything about myself and my life. I felt suffocated by myself.

I realized, I needed to do something. I need to reign it in. But how? For me, the best way to start feeling less chaotic and more in control is to actually give myself more tasks. Throwing myself into projects actually has a way to stave off the feelings of incompleteness and distracting me for the better.

So I’m dedicating this month to New November. A month to throw away the bad and embrace the new. A month to hold ourselves, and each other, more accountable and really work on building those habits that will change us for the better.

Some of these habits I’ve built over the years and I swear, they work. But we need to stick to them. My problem is I’ll get really into yoga one week and then will just stop going. I’ll meditate for a day and then forget about it. We know meditation and yoga works, but if we don’t build the habits, none of it matters. 

You need to promise to try every single day. And the best way to do that is to keep a physical count.

Each item on the chart belongs to one of these three groups: how we eat, how we take care, how we talk. Take some time this week to pay attention to where you put more of your needs and where you’re lacking.

The next three weeks we’ll focus on the  three areas of self development:

  • How We Eat
  • How We Take Care (personal hygiene, exercise)
  • How We Talk (to ourselves and others)

Something my old coworker (hey Kristi!) and I used to do during the work week was have a water drinking challenge. It sounds so lame but I swear, the competition element of it (having someone to push you and remind you) changed everything. We both were going through 2 liters a day and both being competitive women, usually went above the necessary amount.

It was also fun to have someone there to keep me accountable. I liked knowing that every day we’d be working on something healthy, together. So grab a friend, coworker, family member and do this with them.

Each item on the chart belongs to one of these three groups: how we eat, how we take care, how we talk. Take some time this week to pay attention to where you put more of your needs and where you’re lacking. Where are your weaknesses? Where could you build strength?

How The Chart Works :

1. Print it out

2. Every day this week keep a tally of all the healthy and unhealthy things you do. Every time you make a negative comment, check the box. Every time you drink a cup of tea, check the box.

3. Next Sunday night count up your totals. Subtract your unhealthy score from your healthy.

4. Accept your number. Whatever it is. If it’s negative, that’s fine. If it’s positive, that’s fine.
Then pick a number you’re going to get to. If you’re at -2, promise yourself you’ll get to 1. If you’re at 10, work on getting to 12.

Download High Res Version:

WOW – Week 1

WOW – Week 2

WOW – Week 3

WOW – Week 4



Lauren Martin
Just another girl in the world...and founder of Words of Women

One Comment

  1. Christina Nguyen

    As I read your post, it reminded me of when I first met my therapist, because together, we did something very similar to this! She’d print out a weekly time log, have me record my routine and week by week, we’d add a task that was both do-able and something that I enjoyed. At the time, I brushed it off and rolled my eyes at it. I filled it out with a bunch of garbage that I didn’t really do because I didn’t understand how something like that could solve all the chaos that was happening in my life and make me happier. Reading your blog post, however, reminded me that it wasn’t about solving the big problem (at least not yet), it was about just practicing the little wins. Whether that be drinking water, cleaning up after cooking a healthy meal or even just doing my laundry – all of these were little steps to self-development when I was stuck in an emotional, mental, and spiritual rut. Which is why I really appreciated it when you listed easy, do-able tasks in your healthy check-list. It makes the whole process much less daunting and more approachable.
    With the hustle and bustle of everyday life, I think we can all use a little more self-awareness when it comes to examining what our needs and weaknesses are. And I think it’s even more important to celebrate our small wins and not be so hard on ourselves when we make a mistake.

    P.S. I love your template! I will definitely be printing it out. I really like the idea of creating a visual to keep track of my self development.

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How I Turned My Worst Emotions Into My Best Life

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