1.If it feels wrong, don’t do it
“Study the hurtful patterns of your life. Then don’t repeat them.” – Yasmin Mogahed
Women’s intuition is a powerful force. It tells us something is wrong before our brain can register the threat. It’s important to listen to our gut feelings. A way to gain control of your life is learning to not just listen to yourself but also stand up for yourself.
2. Say exactly what you mean
“I’ve found that growing up means being honest. About what I want. What I need. What I feel. Who I am.”
The more honesty you put out, the more you get back. There’s nothing that rots the insides more than unsaid words. Say what you mean and watch how your life opens up. The right people will appreciate it, the wrong ones will leave and you will be left lighter and more accepting of the truth. Watch how people open up to you and come to respect you. You’d be surprised how rare honesty is.
3. Don’t be a people pleaser
“I have been so busy managing everyone else’s heart, I do not know my own.” -Jane Austen
Becoming a stable adult means realizing the most important person to please is yourself. The more you try and please others, the more your life becomes about everyone else. Start with pleasing yourself first, then others second.
4. Never speak bad about yourself
“The only person who can pull me down is myself, and I’m not going to let myself pull me down anymore.” – C. JoyBell C.
Respect comes from the bottom up. The way people perceive us has a lot to do with the way we perceive ourselves. When you love yourself, you radiate that love. If you hate yourself, that negativity is translated to those around you. The more confidence and self love you have for yourself, the more you’ll get back.
5. Never give up on your dreams
“You may be diverted, distracted and feel defeated, but if you move forward, you will get there.” – Bethenny Frankel
You can achieve your dreams by just believing that you can. You do not need to necessarily need to know the process and the steps to get there, but if you believe and if you put in your time, effort and love into it, everything else will fall into place. Believe in yourself and your dreams.
6. Don’t be afraid to say “no”
“Learn to say “no” without explaining yourself.”
No is a liberating word. In one syllable you break the chains the hold you. You are bound to no one and nothing and the sooner you realize that the sooner you’ll start using “no” more.
7. Don’t be afraid to say “yes”
“It’s a helluva start, being able to recognize what makes you happy.” – Lucille Ball
On the contrary, when your gut tells you to do something, try adn do it. If you know you need to go to the gym to blow off steam but you’d just rather tell yourself no, practice saying yes — See how your life changes.
8. Be KIND to yourself
“The world will knock you down plenty. You don’t need to be doing it to yourself.” – Elizabeth Scott
Just be there for yourself. When you’ve had a long day learn to take care of yourself. Treat yourself the way you would treat your daughter. Comb her hair, give her a bath and sing her praises. The best self care you’ll ever receive is by yourself.
9. Let go of what you can’t control
“Feel it. The thing that you don’t want to feel. Feel it, and be free.” – Nayyirah Waheed
I gave myself permission to feel and experience all of my emotions. In order to do that, I had to stop being afraid to feel. In order to do that, I taught myself to believe that no matter what I felt or what happened when I felt it, I would be okay.
10. Stay away from drama & negativity
“Learn to value yourself, which means: fight for your happiness.” – Ayn Rand
Remove yourself from it completely. If you think it’s normal to have drama in your life you’re surrounding yourself with the wrong people. One of the beautiful benefits of being an adult is the ability to walk away from toxic situations. It’s also the privilege of being bored. Drama doesn’t make your life more interesting, it makes it more stressful. Find where the drama and negativity is coming from and cut it out immediately.
‘Do you fall in love often?’
Yes often. With a view, with a book, with a dog, a cat, with numbers, with friends, with complete strangers, with nothing at all. — Jeanette Winterson,