A woman of integrity
I am Not

I paint my lips the color of winterberry’s
Not within the lines
Bleeding onto yellowing teeth

Corse laughter
Head thrown back
Aging howling mouth
Unashamed of careless indifference

I will sleep with a man without knowing
His name
His intentions
His profession

I lie
For the person I can become
Frightens me

I lie to protect myself from agony
For I am breakable

When I drink, I cannot stop
Heady beer running down my chin
I drink to become drunk
To forget a pain I search to place
Pain that once shattered

I love blindly
Kissing the broken fragments of
a person I do not know
Because I have lived sorrow

I try
For the person, I may become
Transcends who I have been
A woman of integrity
I am Not

A person
I Am

I write because it keeps me sane.

One Comment

    • Lauren Holton

    • 3 years ago

    I feel this so much. “of the nature of women nothing final can be known.”

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How I Turned My Worst Emotions Into My Best Life

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