June 12, 2019

Julia deleted her Instagram today. I noticed because I was on my way to the toilet and something made me think of her and then I wanted to look at pictures of her baby and husband and new house in Miami. You know, look at her life. Fine, judge it.

I tried two variations of her name before I became frustrated and went to a mutual friend’s account to find a tagged photo of her. When I found one there was no longer a tag on her face. Oh, that’s why. Ok, no Instagram anymore. That’s weird.

So I went to her Facebook. Surely if she deleted her Instagram account she’d have a Facebook page to at least keep in contact. I tried her married name, then her maiden, then both, hyphenated. Nothing. No Facebook. No Instagram. This means something. It’s gotta mean something. Right?

Did she have a nervous breakdown? That’s common for new mothers, isn’t it? She was only 26 when she had the baby. But what does she have to break down over? She’s not working. Let me repeat that again; she’s not working. She never has worked. She’s one of those rare ‘lucky’ ones who married a good guy who’s also rich.

He’s out of her league too. She knew this when she met him in college. But she was persistent. It took her two years of stalking, “coincidentally” running into him at his frat house, for him to finally take her seriously. And she latched on like a woman who knew a golden ticket when she saw one. This chance wouldn’t come again. Not for her. She’d have to marry him.

And she did. Right out of college. And because he’s a software developer she’d have to move to Orlando. Once there, she wouldn’t have to work, because, well, he was making her to move to Orlando.

After three years of marriage and nothing else to do, she had her baby. I saw they bought a house in Miami. And she’d recently attended a mutual friend’s wedding in Sedona. Life looked good. So why the break down? It must be something else.

Maybe something happened to the baby? A woman who loses her child is bound to delete all social media. Maybe she’s getting divorced? But the guy’s too nice and too old-school for him to initiate a divorce with a child that young. No, that can’t be it. Why why why?

Maybe she’s just going on a technology hiatus. Maybe she is trying to be ‘off the grid’. But why? One only does an experiment like that when they’re searching for something. What’s she searching for? Maybe her husband’s having an affair. Maybe they’re getting divorced.

Maybe she got fat. She’s always straddled the line between thin and ‘healthy looking’. She had the potential to pork up, definitely. But she wasn’t the kind who would let herself. Not at 28. She was regimented.

Unless she’s on medication. Antidepressants make you gain weight. My friend Sara reminded me of this fact when she asked if I noticed how much weight Kelly had gained. I told her I had but I didn’t even think of that. I remember looking at Kelly wondering what had happened. Where the weight came from in the one post to the next. Why wasn’t she losing it? Ah, now it made sense.

But if she’s breastfeeding she wouldn’t be on antidepressants, would she? They say you can now drink wine while pregnant so who knows what the rules on breastfeeding are. But I feel like that’s not it. I feel like it’s something else.

I’m having lunch with Kim next week. I’ll ask her. She knows Julia better than me. She may know why or at least have a better idea about it. I’ll bring it up like “Hey, did you notice that Julia deleted her Instagram account? I noticed because I have a business trip to Miami in August and I thought I’d send her a message to see if she’s around so I could meet the baby.”

Yea let’s see what Kim says.

Stay tuned….

What Is This:

Dear Diary – An alcoholic narcissist living in New York who, from her hatred of people to her confusion about engagement parties, doesn’t make life easy for herself.

Follow her daily rants and thoughts contained in quick diary entries as she attends parties only to meet more people she doesn’t like, have conversations that make her feel awkward, and share thoughts that she definitely can’t tell anyone else.

Lauren Martin
Just another girl in the world...and founder of Words of Women

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