I remember the first time my heart was broken. I remember sitting on the cracked linoleum floor of the kitchen in my rented university house, thinking the pain would eat me whole from the inside. That I would, in fact, die from it. I remember trying to go out, to put on a face, to […]
We are in a privileged and sometimes happy position. We see a great deal of the world. Our obligation is to pass it on to others. – Margaret Bourke-White There’s an incredible HBO documentary on Robert Mapplethorpe called ‘Look at the Pictures’. The documentary parallels the artist’s struggles with his homosexuality along with his […]
“I can safely conclude that we are single because we want to be.” ― Candace Bushnell Being single is a stage every woman – every respectable woman at least – must go through. Like a rite of passage, a woman needs to spend time alone, cultivating herself and her wants, before entering the world. Like […]
INTERVIEWER Did you have fun growing up? WASSERSTEIN I did because my mother was eccentric. I always dream of what it will be like to be a mother. Will I be strict? Playful? Stressed? What excites and terrifies me most are what parts of myself –my eccentricities, my philosophies, my beliefs –will consciously or unconsciously […]
“I am not eccentric. It’s just that I am more alive than most people. I am an unpopular electric eel set in a pond of catfish.” ― Edith Sitwell I decided to write this newsletter because for the past few weeks I’ve been more self-hating than usual. I feel like every time I leave my […]
Dearest, I feel certain I am going mad again. I feel we can’t go through another of those terrible times. And I shan’t recover this time. I begin to hear voices, and I can’t concentrate. So I am doing what seems the best thing to do. You have given me the greatest possible happiness. You […]
Last week I noticed a new thing that’s been happening to me. I’m not sure when it started (a year ago? Six months ago? Twelve years ago?) but last week I officially NOTED it. It’s not depression. More like emotional combustion. Like rage and sadness and disappointment and anxiety merged into one. A tension created […]
“[What does it sound like when you get stuck?] Fuck. Shit. Don’t. Fuck. You dumb bitch—who ever told you that you could write? That’s what it sounds like.” —Mary Karr Writing is hard. Although it feels like it, you are by no means the only person experiencing the debilitating self-loathing that comes with trying to […]