“I am not eccentric. It’s just that I am more alive than most people. I am an unpopular electric eel set in a pond of catfish.” ― Edith Sitwell I decided to write this newsletter because for the past few weeks I’ve been more self-hating than usual. I feel like every time I leave my […]
Dearest, I feel certain I am going mad again. I feel we can’t go through another of those terrible times. And I shan’t recover this time. I begin to hear voices, and I can’t concentrate. So I am doing what seems the best thing to do. You have given me the greatest possible happiness. You […]
There is a saying much repeated by older generations, which goes as, ‘Do not fear anything, for your worst fears will never happen’. Well, guess what? Mine did. I fell in love. Now, one might think, ‘How can love be something that is feared?’ and perhaps in their own way, they are right. Yet, being […]
There’s an element to my current relationship that almost feels like it shouldn’t be there. It’s the element of discomfort, and it’s one of the best things to enter my life recently. The most valuable things we can offer our partners are the things they struggle to generate as naturally as we do. In my […]
Last week I noticed a new thing that’s been happening to me. I’m not sure when it started (a year ago? Six months ago? Twelve years ago?) but last week I officially NOTED it. It’s not depression. More like emotional combustion. Like rage and sadness and disappointment and anxiety merged into one. A tension created […]
“[What does it sound like when you get stuck?] Fuck. Shit. Don’t. Fuck. You dumb bitch—who ever told you that you could write? That’s what it sounds like.” —Mary Karr Writing is hard. Although it feels like it, you are by no means the only person experiencing the debilitating self-loathing that comes with trying to […]
Have you ever watched the 1976 documentary Grey Gardens? If you haven’t, rent it, but only if you’re in the right frame of mind. By that I mean mentally sound, because it can be somewhat of a difficult watch. By difficult I mean haunting, depressing and somewhat unnerving. But then, if you’re in the right […]
Dr. Maria Montessori is a name that bears familiarity but little knowledge. While her last name is ascribed to the term universally associated with early education, we know little to nothing about the woman who holds it. Born in 1870, Dr. Maria Montessori graduated from the University of Rome with a degree in medicine. She […]