A lot of us aren’t apt to list Sex and The City when questioned about our favorite shows. Maybe it’s because Sarah Jessica Parker is just so whiny in it or maybe it’s because anything that’s popular becomes lame (before it eventually becomes meta). Whatever the reason you don’t list Sex and The City as a favorite, you can’t deny the pure gems of dating philosophy and womanhood sprinkled throughout it.

The reason it had a 6-year-long run and is one of the most iconic shows in HBO history is because of the catharsis – the unnerving similarity between what we feel and what we’re watching. And that’s not because of Sarah Jessica Parker’s acting skills, but because of the brilliance of Candace Bushnell.

We all associate Parker with Carrie but in reality, Bushnell is the real Carrie and “Sex and The City” was her real column.

After moving to New York City at 19, Bushnell struggled to find writing jobs for many years. In 1993 she began working for the New York Observer. According to Bushnell,

“I started working for the NY Observer when I was 33. After I had been writing for them for about a year and a half the editor said, “Your stories are the most talked about stories in the Observer, you should have your own column.” I was paid $1000 a column and the reason was that the column “Sex and the City” was so popular that they sold newspapers and advertising off it.”

From 1994 – 1996 she published the column “Sex and the City” based on her own personal dating experiences and those of her friends. It was then rounded up into an anthology and turned into the HBO series.

The truth is, we can’t judge a book by its cover and we can’t judge a show by its actors. “Sex and the City” is so much more than a 30 minute HBO relic. It’s the real words of a real woman with a real single life in real pain. And honey, there’s nothing “to wonder” about when reading these.

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“You have to let go of who you were to become who you will be.”

“I make mistakes. That’s what I do. I
speak without thinking, I act without
knowing. I drink so much that I can
barely walk…I’m a fantastic lover
though, and an amazing friend. God
knows I mean well.”

“Better alone than badly accompanied.”

“ I do not pick the wrong guys. They pick me.”

“All those men who end up disappointing you. After a while, you don’t even want to have feelings anymore. You just want to get on with your life.”

“From my experience, honey, if he seems too good to be true—he probably is.”

“That’s the difference between girls and women: Girls find men fascinating. Women know better.”

“I can safely conclude that we are single because we want to be.”

“I’m not ashamed of anything I’ve done.
Shame is a useless emotion.”

“There are so many beautiful girls around that after a while you start looking for someone who can make you laugh”

“I think, when men tell women to lose weight, it’s a diversion from their own lack of size in certain areas.”

“Life gives you lots of chances to screw up which means you have just as many chances to get it right.”

“As long as you’re neurotic and crazy, he’s great. But once he solves all your problems, he becomes the problem.”

“I wouldn’t be in shallow relationships, so I do nothing. I have no sex and no romance. Who needs it.? Who needs all these potential problems like disease and pregnancy.? I have no problems. No fear of disease, psychopaths, or stalkers. Why not just be with your friends and have real conversations and a good time?”

“When you’re alone, it’s easier,” she said a little wistfully. “You can do what you want. You don’t have to go home.”

“Maybe our girlfriends are our soulmates and guys are just people to have fun with.”

“There are worse things than being thirty-five, single, and female in New York. Like: Being twenty-five, singled, and female in New York. It’s a rite of passage few women would want to repeat. It’s about sleeping with the wrong men, wearing the wrong clothes, having the wrong roommate, saying the wrong thing, being ignored, getting fired, not being taken seriously, and generally being treated like shit. But it’s necessary.”

“Eventually all the pieces fall into place…. until then, laugh at the confusion, live for the moment, and know that everything happens for a reason.”

Lauren Martin
Just another girl in the world...and founder of Words of Women

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