Seduction is a valuable life skill. Unfortunately, we’ve sexualized it to have negative connotations. When it comes to success, seduction does not mean sleeping your way to the top. Seduction at its essence is unlocking your self-confidence and it’s self-confidence that leads to success.

Chen Lizra is an award winning social entrepreneur, somatic intelligence life coach, best-selling author of My Seductive Cuba & a professional dancer. In her TedTalk she discusses how to use the power we all have, seduction, to succeed in life.

She believes seduction is your untapped power. It’s about charm, connection and confidence. Being aware of your seductive powers is learning how to master the needs of others. Seduction is merely going after what you want.

It’s a fearlessness of failure and a profoundly powerful capability that is found in most successful people. If you think of the most successful people you know — they have a seductive quality to them. They seduce you and make you weak at the knees. You admire them, you respect them.

Seduction at its core is about using all of the elements — desire, confidence, body language and arousal, to build the connection that gets you what you want. Like any art, it can be taught. You must take the time to master it and see it as a valuable life skill.

The four elements of seduction (which create a formula) are broken down below:

1. Desire

Knowing what you want and having the willingness to go after it. It’s about learning what the other person’s emotional buttons are and then triggering them. You have to get what the other person is missing and then give it to them. When done right, it’s virtually impossible for them to say ‘no’ to you.

2. Confidence

Strong self-confidence is essential for seduction. Without it you can’t go after what you want. Self-confidence springs from the way we view ourselves and hold ourselves. This is something you need to cultivate daily until you believe you are as powerful as you want to be.

3. Body Language

When you have confidence in your body it shows. It leads to how you present yourself in all areas of life. How you sit, how you stand, how you hold yourself is essential to the way you are perceived.

4. Arousal

To connect and interact with the other person you must give them your undivided attention. Arousal is a fearlessness to connect and to go after what you want — again and again.

Founder of Words of Women

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