Recently, when I’m walking up the stairs or folding laundry, a Joan Didion quote plays through my mind. My head is a jumble of words, and for periods of times, certain ones get stuck.
I’ve heard it said that we get songs stuck in our head
It’s been a weirdly calm week. What I mean is, I’ve been calm.
Wednesday morning, for example. I dropped the girls off at daycare. Then I went to the grocery store, the bank, then CVS. When I was told my prescription wouldn’t be ready
My husband has a theory.
His theory, why we’re fighting, is because I’m a difficult woman. That whatever rage he has is warranted because I’m no walk in the park.
I tell him he has never been married to another woman, so he has
Well, 2025 is off with a bang. You’d think the universe would give it a break, but no, it’s gotta keep pushing…
A lot has happened since that hopeful December 30th newsletter. I managed to survive the twelve days (now seventeen) of closed daycare, RSV, the
Swallowed nausea Found catharsis in other guys Their sweat soaked sheets, your mascara crushed on a pillow You might have screamed during sex. You might have pounded the wall with your fists. You might have ripped out a sense of self and watched it leave your body. It was never for them. It was ecstasy […]
Saturday morning I woke up with a mother of a hangover. I didn’t even drink that much but clearly this ‘age thing’ is no myth. I rolled over to my fiancé. “Ugh I shouldn’t have smoked that cigarette. I feel sick. Why did you let me do that?” “Because you would have just told me, […]
Sometimes it scares me, my ability to be okay. The way I can move forward so easily after so much has gone wrong makes life feel temporary, transient. I sometimes wonder if anything will truly stop me in my tracks, hold me in my place, keep me there, steady me. Maybe that thing will be […]
Sometimes a good fuck will make me sob or laugh hysterically. It can be awkward, trying to explain thoughtless tears meaningless laughter that erupts from the better orgasms. Maybe it isn’t just that the orgasms are a thing beyond beauty and meaning and concepts Maybe it’s that they come at a time of a deep […]