THE RECKONING
Reckoning (noun): An accounting, as for things received or done. When your actions are judged as good or bad and you are rewarded or punished.I have a theory. My theory is based on hunches and tidbits and quotes and after ten years in a relationship and three years as
Couples Therapy
Two things can be true at once. This was something my therapist told me on Thursday while I was telling her about my couple’s therapist. (Yes, I have become that person.)
The couple’s counselor, who we will call Penny, seemed great the first two times I
Did I Share Too Much?
Recently, when I’m walking up the stairs or folding laundry, a Joan Didion quote plays through my mind. My head is a jumble of words, and for periods of times, certain ones get stuck.
I’ve heard it said that we get songs stuck in our head
Just one more
Swallowed nausea Found catharsis in other guys Their sweat soaked sheets, your mascara crushed on a pillow You might have screamed during sex. You might have pounded the wall with your fists. You might have ripped out a sense of self and watched it leave your body. It was never for them. It was ecstasy […]
Ego Depletion
Saturday morning I woke up with a mother of a hangover. I didn’t even drink that much but clearly this ‘age thing’ is no myth. I rolled over to my fiancé. “Ugh I shouldn’t have smoked that cigarette. I feel sick. Why did you let me do that?” “Because you would have just told me, […]
Transience
Sometimes it scares me, my ability to be okay. The way I can move forward so easily after so much has gone wrong makes life feel temporary, transient. I sometimes wonder if anything will truly stop me in my tracks, hold me in my place, keep me there, steady me. Maybe that thing will be […]
Ode to the Orgasm
Sometimes a good fuck will make me sob or laugh hysterically. It can be awkward, trying to explain thoughtless tears meaningless laughter that erupts from the better orgasms. Maybe it isn’t just that the orgasms are a thing beyond beauty and meaning and concepts Maybe it’s that they come at a time of a deep […]