Another weekend, another fight at the Please Touch Museum. I swear, every fight happens there. My marriage will end, the divorce papers served, in the germ-infested halls of that place.
Ellie was having a meltdown. Her usual new tantrum thing. Jay was doing his usual thing – “I got
Things have gotten better, and somehow worse, in the Mandy/Martin household. After the virus, then pink eye, there was a brief stint of relief. The girls went back to daycare. I did a podcast, went to Ikea, ate meatballs in the cafeteria across from an older woman also eating
The fight with my parents has seemingly resolved itself, yet the past week I’ve been waking at 3 a.m. in what I believe are panic attacks.
This is new for me. I don’t really panic. I get sad. I cry. But I don’t
Swallowed nausea Found catharsis in other guys Their sweat soaked sheets, your mascara crushed on a pillow You might have screamed during sex. You might have pounded the wall with your fists. You might have ripped out a sense of self and watched it leave your body. It was never for them. It was ecstasy […]
Saturday morning I woke up with a mother of a hangover. I didn’t even drink that much but clearly this ‘age thing’ is no myth. I rolled over to my fiancé. “Ugh I shouldn’t have smoked that cigarette. I feel sick. Why did you let me do that?” “Because you would have just told me, […]
Sometimes it scares me, my ability to be okay. The way I can move forward so easily after so much has gone wrong makes life feel temporary, transient. I sometimes wonder if anything will truly stop me in my tracks, hold me in my place, keep me there, steady me. Maybe that thing will be […]
Sometimes a good fuck will make me sob or laugh hysterically. It can be awkward, trying to explain thoughtless tears meaningless laughter that erupts from the better orgasms. Maybe it isn’t just that the orgasms are a thing beyond beauty and meaning and concepts Maybe it’s that they come at a time of a deep […]