Glennon Doyle Melton began her online writing career in 2009, with the creation of her blog, Momastery. The funny, conversational and tell-all nature of her writing quickly gained popularity. Viral blog posts beginning with “2011 Lesson #2: Don’t Carpe Diem” led to the publication of her memoir, Carry On, Warrior and the growth of her social media audience. In 2013, Carry On, Warrior received the Books for a Better Life Best Relationship Award and was a finalist in the Goodreads Choice Awards for “Best Memoir & Autobiography”. In 2014, Parents Magazine named Melton and Momastery the winner of its award for Best All-Around at Social Media.
Before all this success, however, Melton spent time in a mental hospital. It was this time that changed her and gave her the outlook on life she carries and spreads to others today.
According to Melton,
I binged and purged for the first time when I was 8 and I continued every single day for the next 18 years. It seems normal to me but you’re surprised.
Every single time that I got anxious or worried or angry, I thought something was wrong with me. And so I took that nervous energy to the kitchen and I stuffed it all down with food and then I panicked and I purged. And after all of that, I was laid out on the bathing floor and I was so exhausted and so numb that I never had to go back and deal with whatever it was that it made me uncomfortable in the first place. And that’s what I wanted. I did not want to deal with the discomfort and messiness of being a human being.
So when I was a senior in high school, I finally decided to tell the truth in the real world. I walked into my guidance counselor’s office and I said ”actually I’m not fine. Someone help me”. And I was sent to a mental hospital.
Today she is a living example that it’s ok to have problems and it’s ok to talk about them. Most importantly, you can succeed despite those problems. Melton turned the darkest period in her life into success, fame and most importantly, help for other women.
A lot of us believe that our feelings are invalid. That feeling anxious or depressed are problems we must hide. We’re ashamed of the way we feel, constantly put down for feeling too much. It’s time to stop feeling bad about our feelings. Take a minute to read these wise words from Melton and learn to embrace your “crazy” side:
“When her pain is fresh and new, let her have it. Don’t try to take it away. Forgive yourself for not having that power. Grief and pain are like joy and peace; they are not things we should try to snatch from each other. They’re sacred. they are part of each person’s journey. All we can do is offer relief from this fear: I am all alone. That’s the one fear you can alleviate.”
“Grief is love’s souvenir. It’s our proof that we once loved. Grief is the receipt we wave in the air that says to the world: Look! Love was once mine. I love well. Here is my proof that I paid the price.”
“People who need help sometimes look a lot like people who don’t need help.”
“Here’s my hunch: nobody’s secure, and nobody feels like she completely belongs. Those insecurities are just job hazards of being human. But some people dance anyway, and those people have more fun.”
“You are not supposed to be happy all the time. Life hurts and it’s hard. Not because you’re doing it wrong, but because it hurts for everybody. Don’t avoid the pain. You need it. It’s meant for you. Be still with it, let it come, let it go, let it leave you with the fuel you’ll burn to get your work done on this earth.”
“The sun shows up every morning, no matter how bad you’ve been the night before. It shines without judgment. It never withholds. It warms the sinners, the saints, the druggies, the cheerleaders- the saved and the heathens alike. You can hide from the sun, but it wont take you personally. It´ll never, ever punish your for hiding. You can stay in the dark for years or decades, and when you finally step outside, it´ll be there.”
“No woman on earth doesn’t give a fuck—no woman is that cool—she’s just hidden her fire. Likely, it’s burning her up.”
“Life is hard—not because we’re doing it wrong, just because it’s hard.”
“Since brokenness is the way of folks, the only way to live peacefully is to forgive everyone constantly, including yourself.”
“We know what the world wants from us. We know we must decide whether to stay small, quiet, and uncomplicated or allow ourselves to grow as big, loud, and complex as we were made to be. Every girl must decide whether to be true to herself or true to the world. Every girl must decide whether to settle for adoration or fight for love.”
“What if pain – like love – is just a place brave people visit?”
“I think one of the keys to happiness is accepting that I am never going to be perfectly happy. Life is uncomfortable. So I might as well get busy loving the people around me. I’m going to stop trying so hard to decide whether they are the “right people” for me and just take deep breaths and love my neighbors. I’m going to take care of my friends. I’m going to find peace in the ’burbs. I’m going to quit chasing happiness long enough to notice it smiling right at me.”
“What if in skipping the pain, I was missing my lessons?”
“Maybe instead of slamming the door on pain, I need to throw open the door wide and say, Come in. Sit down with me. And don’t leave until you have taught me what I need to know.”
“It’s ok to feel too much and know too little.”
“I have met my self and I am going to care for her fiercely.”
“Women who are concerned with being pretty think about what they look like, but women who are concerned with being beautiful think about what they are looking at. They are taking it all in. They are taking in the whole beautiful world and making all that beauty theirs to give away to others.”