Self-esteem is one of those chicken or the egg type things. Are we born with it or do we create it? Personally, I’ve never been the most self-assured, carefree person in the room. I’ve noticed, however, that my self-esteem has actually been decreasing as I’ve been getting older. Why is that? Shouldn’t it be the opposite? Does that mean I was born with it but through years of bad practice have begun to lose it?
These are answers I must search within myself to find. However, I recently stumbled across some information on how your self-esteem may be ingrained in your zodiac sign, which can make sense if you believe in the power of the sun, the moon and how the alignment of the planets affects your overall personality. So if you’re feeling a little unsure about how or where you get your self-esteem, check to see if it comes from your sign. Then we can work on how to get it up…
*May apply to Ascendant or sun as well. Aspects to the sun & Venus matter.
Self-esteem is generally fragile. They seem confident and self-assured, but on the inside, their opinion of themselves fluctuates wildly, ranging from sheer conceit to self-loathing. They need validation from others, and if they’re deprived of that, there can be a lot of anxiety surrounding their value. They judge themselves harshly and it’s difficult to recover from embarrassment.
Self-esteem is increased by victory; coming in first place or being the best; encouragement; feelings of strength, bravery, and capability; independence; proving themselves (especially to themselves); learning from mistakes/defeat.
Self-esteem is generally steady. They’re humble and down-to-earth about themselves, with a very realistic opinion of their worth. They can have difficulty with feeling secure inside in the beginning of their lives, but once they have a solid grasp on what makes them unique and valuable, nothing can shake their confidence, and they’ll seldom depend on others to define them.
Self-esteem is increased by self-acceptance; surrounding themselves with pleasant possessions & people; being spoiled/pampered; taking time to relax & replenish their energy; low stress; aesthetic beauty; feeling natural/elegant.
Self-esteem is generally erratic. Their opinion of themselves fluctuates with their mood & the context. They easily become dissatisfied with the state of themselves due to their many various interests, which leads to inconsistent admiration and consequentially inconsistent aspirations. Their confidence relies on the “facts” about their beauty, accomplishments, etc.
Self-esteem is increased by satisfying details; being able to keep up with themselves; freedom to develop & change; variety & constant stimulation; having options; engaging people; being able to express their thoughts.
Self-esteem is generally introspective. Their confidence can be unstable and inhibited, particularly when they’re young, but they tend to be more secure in themselves once they have a good awareness of their nature/identity. Their value must be discovered before they can feel or appreciate it, and it may take a long time for them to do so if they’re on their own in that endeavor.
Self-esteem is increased by support; sympathetic people; reassurance; emotional openness, catharsis; close loved ones, people who are interested in being intimate with them; positive reactions; healthy expression of self.
Self-esteem is generally glowy. They radiate confidence and pride; they’re typically secure within themselves, knowing their value & easily sharing it with others. If they doubt themselves, it’s because something external is obscuring their inner light – true self-value shines boundlessly from inside them and it’s invincible once they claim it and learn how to own it intrinsically.
Self-esteem is increased by validation; praise; attention; compliments; popularity; affection; positive, enjoyable experiences; creativity; inspiration; being received well; self-expression; grand gestures of love & adoration.
Self-esteem is generally weary. They can be extremely insecure, lacking confidence due to trying too hard to be worthy of it. They’re harshly critical of themselves and constantly strive to be beautiful and valuable, which takes its toll on their very essence – they tend to shrink further into themselves the more distance they feel stands in the way of what they intend to be.
Self-esteem is increased by making progress, noticing positive results of their efforts; good health & hygiene; appreciation; acknowledgement; feeling able, organized, and useful; being thanked; admiration; being understood.
Self-esteem is generally buoyant. Their confidence fluctuates erratically, yet gracefully; the lows are taken in stride and the highs are positively elating. They reflect the opinions of others and tend to take things very personally but they typically convince themselves that their insecurities are silly, and return to airy self-acceptance, which can easily turn into oblivious vanity.
Self-esteem is increased by acceptance; integration; inclusion; positive social interaction; peaceful bonds; being well-liked; having fashionable interests & friends; being talked about; attracting & being interesting to others; romance.
Self-esteem is generally all or nothing. They’re very cutthroat in the inner competition to be better than they used to be and they can sink into terrifying depths of self-hatred if they fail themselves. If they achieve what they aspire for, they can become obnoxiously conceited. There is rarely a balance – it goes from one extreme to the other very easily (but it’s not exactly unstable).
Self-esteem is increased by distance or extreme closeness; knowing other people intimately; being mysterious; having an impact on others; loyalty; deep connections; intensity; becoming stronger after being hurt; being guarded.
Self-esteem is generally carefree. They always try to let go of their insecurities. This often leads to arrogance and vanity, since they sometimes their desperate aversion to being weighed down by negative feelings can result in being carried away by positive ones. They tell themselves a lot of things “don’t matter” because they don’t want to face the discomfort of low self-value.
Self-esteem is increased by enjoyable distractions; trying new things; adventure; discovery; realizations; feeling wise and untamed; being free to do what they wish & make their own decisions; getting away with bad behavior.
Self-esteem is generally brutal. They lack self-compassion and they’re critical of themselves, but they’re also down-to-earth and pragmatic about their value. Self-hatred motivates them. They use their insecurities to their own advantage, to improve themselves, even if it’s unhealthy or painful. Sometimes it works too well & they become conceited. Other times, they end up hurting themselves.
Self-esteem is increased by success; accomplishments; respect; having influence and authority; being self-sufficient; solving their own problems; having answers; leading; control; wealth; being considered important.
Self-esteem is generally contrary. They’re very concerned with what they’re not and this is how they discover their value – by resisting insecurity & criticism of all kinds and trying to prove the opposite. They do this to positive things too sometimes; they’re essentially playing devil’s advocate when it comes to their value, and that’s where they find equilibrium between the inner & the outer.
Self-esteem is increased by breaking rules; being unpredictable; challenging standards & assumptions; being given the space to openly express & define themselves; changing the minds of others; inspiring others; being a role model.
Self-esteem is generally amorphous. They vaguely absorb both positive and negative perspectives on who they are, and the result is fluid confidence that relies on their emotional state (and the emotional states of those who surround them). They’re typically unaware of the “truth” about themselves so they never feel secure in any opinion they form about their worth/beauty/etc.
Self-esteem is increased by fantasy; absorbing positivity; devotion; sacrifice; powerful emotional experiences & connections; artistic expression; mutual reflection of beauty; being explained; poetic love, “magical” relationships.
Just another girl in the world…and founder of Words of Women