https://wordsofwomennewsletter.ghost.io/im-a-little-angry/
I’m a little angry right now. Not at my husband. But with someone my husband was just with. Someone my husband went out with, who said something to him.
This was during a guy’s night in New York on Friday. A trip I told him to take. “Go and have fun,” I said. He was hesitant, but I confirmed, in my new way, without wavering. “I promise. It’s fine. I think it will be good for you. I can handle the kids for a day.”
I understood what he was asking for and what I was giving him. And the new deal is this: if I say yes, that I don’t care, I mean it. Because we can no longer live in this place where one of us says one thing but means another. Where I say yes, but mean no, and have rage inside me that simmers and boils over later.
And this has been no small feat. It has taken ten years and the last six months – The reckoning. The therapy. The letters. The fights. – to get here. It has been a process, and I have worked, to get to the point where I can express myself without hesitating or hedging, where there is no longer any question or confusion about how I’m feeling and what I mean, and he’s learned to take it seriously.
Thus, I was happy to do this for my husband. And when he came back Saturday afternoon, and I asked him how it was, he told me about the sushi restaurant and the bars and then he said that this friend, a few drinks in, said to him: “You know, I defend you. When I hear the things your wife says to my wife,” I was taken aback.
This, I was not expecting.
Read the rest of I'm a little angry by subscribing to the Words of Women Newsletter.
