This topic contains 28 replies, has 3 voices, and was last updated by Sandra McKenzie 4 months, 2 weeks ago.
December 11, 2017 at 9:41 pm #7506
Sometimes shitty things happen to good people.December 11, 2017 at 10:03 pm #7507
Feel the fear and do it anyway.December 12, 2017 at 12:25 am #7508
You can’t control other people’s behavior or sometimes even what’s going on around you, but you can control your reaction to it. A really empowering concept that’s stuck with me.December 12, 2017 at 3:38 am #7509
Listen to your body and to your mind. Be attentive and give it the attention it needs. But at some point you’ve got to stop taking everything so seriously. It will break you, your mind isn’t made to process thoughts of sorrow and pain on this scale. Give yourself a break and never lose your humour.December 12, 2017 at 6:04 am #7510
Take each day as it comes. Tell yourself ‘a day at a time’December 12, 2017 at 6:29 am #7511
Listen to what people are actually saying not what you think they are saying.December 12, 2017 at 8:28 am #7514
Not Everything Requires A Response.December 12, 2017 at 9:21 am #7515
Once, my therapist told me about the mourning steps. It applies to any kind of mourning… Those steps aren’t linear… like any other healing.
Healing isn’t linear. You have ups and downs, and you can feel again sadness and anger… but it’s never a regression… you are still going fowardDecember 12, 2017 at 9:41 am #7516
When I told a family member I was working two jobs, he said, “oh, you’re going to be the richest person in the cemetery.”
Not exactly advice, but advice.December 12, 2017 at 12:04 pm #7519
“Don’t compare your insides to other people’s outsides.”December 12, 2017 at 12:11 pm #7520
That I wasn’t being selfish, that I had to be listening to my inner voice more often.December 12, 2017 at 2:13 pm #7521
My counselor told me not to hand someone a tissue when they’re crying because that’s like telling them they need to stop.December 19, 2017 at 2:46 pm #7672
My ex boyfriend would ALWAYS say this to me. It was his go-to. Every single time I felt unsure or upset.
“Is there anything I can do? Just let me know.”
“Seriously, just let me know. If there’s anything I can do. Let me know.”
After the 100th time, what is the person on the receiving end supposed to do? Other than accept the offered sentence and sit in silence? I didn’t want to “let him know”. He thought he was helping, but it felt more like he was cheating at the sympathy game, if that’s a thing.
It bothered me so much. I didn’t know why. I couldn’t explain it to myself.
You just told me everything I couldn’t figure out. Thank you.February 6, 2018 at 1:26 am #8391
My very clever sister said this to my Mother; about the assistance Mum gave to my Brother and his Wife.
“Are you doing what they want, or what you want?”
Sometimes, helping can be construed as interfering, if it’s not what is wanted.
Creating conflict is not helping.
“I do so much for them!” Yes, but is it wanted? Maybe the parents would rather live with the mountains of washing and would much prefer you came round and played with the grand kids. Happy times and happy sounds.