My therapist suggested replacing “is there anything I can do” with “what do you need” when comforting someone as the first kind of assumes you as part of the equation in helping someone which isn’t always helpful. It also kind of pressures the person suffering to kind of come up with something FOR you to do. Like I get so frustrated with that first question as a person who gets it a lot.
The second not only takes the pressure off but also might help the person really consider what their actual needs are like hey I haven’t eaten, maybe that’s a reason I feel crappy. It kinda takes the asker out of the immediate picture so the person struggling can focus on what they actually need, and then if you CAN help, you can offer it.
I was told to feel things. Go deep into what your feeling and acknowledge it/them.
BUT make sure you give yourself a time limit on your pitty-party. Give yourself 30 mins, an hour, 2 hours… Then get back in the day and make the most of it!!!
(I did this today!)❤️🔮✔️
Stop “should-ing” yourself. There’s no need in telling ourselves we should do this or we should be this person. “Should” actually holds us back in life, and many of us don’t even realize we are living with so many “should” in our everyday thoughts.
I was told by a therapist that being ‘sensitive’ is a gift, and not a flaw. Those words have always stuck with me when I have an emotional breakdown. That in being sensitive to my, and others’ feelings I carry strength not weakness.
“Whatever happens, you can handle it. You don’t have to accept it, but you can handle it.” I always remind myself this when I’m trying to find the courage to advocate for myself in conversations that are really important to me (but equally as hard).